Direct2Drive

Direct2Drive is IGN’s downloading service, designed to allow customers to...well download games, So we anti-social, travel fearing types don’t have to venture into the great unknown in order to do more venturing into some of our favorite fantasy lands. Well, this service is apparently all very theoretical in practice.

OK, let me start over. I have deliberating on playing Warhammer Online for some time now. After abruptly leaving Azeroth some one year ago, I felt the mental fortitude to partake in another MMORG. I have been keeping my keen eye on this title for quite some time. As a long time fan of the Warhammer mythos, and after a lot of research, decided this may be the MMO to re in-vigor me to the genre.

So, I linked up with my old guild, from my glory days in World of Warcraft and made my preparations to grind and slaughter my way into the history books once again. Warhammer like many MMO’s have a deal for all those who want to get a head start by being able to have a few days of time with the game before it is released in stores upon pre-ordering it. Cool right? Well yes, that is what I thought too. The only way for me to do this was to download it from IGN’s download service: Direct2Drive.

This is where things go horribly fucking wrong. I fill out the little information sections, e-mail addresses, security info, and so on, double check everything. Then brimming with anticipation, click on the little purchase button. ......thinking about selling me something......thinking some more.....your purchase has been denied. OK, no big deal I’ll contact customer support so we can fix this little mishap. Wait a second, no contact information. Then the realization hit me, I gotta e-mail some fucking computer somewhere, that has little understanding of the English language, and somehow trick him into acting like some weak fact simile of a slightly compassionate human being. So, I send the little Misanthrope 9000 an E-mail. This is his response:

Thank you for contacting Account Services at IGN. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. We are a no-card-present mercantile and in order to protect your credit card must handle this responsibly.

NO ORDER WAS PLACED - Your transaction was declined.

The following reasons for purchase failure may apply to you. Please review these carefully to ensure your success purchasing:

1. First contact your bank to ensure your limit accommodates your purchase price. Also make sure that you and your bank match information. Should you have moved, you will want to update your mailing address. Banks decline your use of the card when the address does not match their records.

2. Are you traveling? Some restrictions apply to downloads. You may not be eligible in the country you are currently residing in regardless of your mailing address.

3. Are you the card holder? It may be best to have the card holder with you when using their card to ensure accuracy.”

At this point, I call my Bank. Where thankfully, I am put in direct contact with an actual human being. I ask about the problem I'm having with my online purchase, and get this, she informs me that there are not one but fucking six pending transactions from Direct2Drive. At this point, I lose my shit. And send this E-mail to the now “official” IGN Misanthrope 9000:

IGN:

Upon getting this E-mail, I called the customer support center for my bank. During this call, I was informed that indeed the transaction did go through, not once but, Six times. I would like to point out that A: I have not, as of yet, gotten a single copy of Warhammer Online. B: Did in no way want to own six copies of this title. I have to admit, I am extremely frustrated at this time, due to this little mishap.

If you could please confirm ONLY ONE of this purchases, along with erasing the aforementioned other five it would be greatly appreciated.

I hope this matter can be rectified in an extremely timely fashion.

I later found that the reason that they denied my credit card was because I was using a free e-mail account. Yup, that’s right. Some time later, after I tried (to no avail) to shake the cold fury that was growing inside me, I contacted my bank once again, and they fixed the duplicate transactions. I mean this is a site, that in its customer support drag icon’s, the sixth in the list of possible fuck-ups is “duplicate/mistaken charges on my credit card.” At this point if your saying to yourself, it is just a freak occurrence, you might be right...or you could take these dudes advice as well.

On a side note: it is at times like these that I can understand why in film robots and humanity can never really get along, and end up starting wars in the future. Imagine if you went to 7-11 at three A.M. and you really wanted some Taquitos and some damn robot gave you the run-around. Oh man, you better pray, that we do not see robots in my lifetime, cause if one gets lippy with me, years of pent up anti-robot aggression is gonna be let loose. And then you know what we got? A future where you gotta send your friend back in time to make love to your mother. Oh, and a terrain that is apparently only human skulls.