Memorial Day

Memorial Day, for most Americans is just a reason to have a cook out. Not that I don’t advocate such activities, who doesn’t want to commemorate soldiers who died by sitting around drinking to the point that you are not embarrassed that your uncle is wearing that “fuck the chief” apron, Eating a week worth of calories in a single sitting? Well, I wanted to memorialize a different kind of solider today, an unsung hero, the video game soldier. I understand that this is an American holiday but I also did not want to restrict my observance to just digital Americans that have fallen.

This Post goes out to Peter. Peter decided to join the Wehrmacht to defend the fatherland from the evils of the western world. How proud he was standing next to his brothers. It was only one man they whispered down the ranks. A single Paratrooper from the 101st Airborne, they were many he was but he was alone. Peter did not believe the wild rumors that this paratrooper single handedly took the town of Carentan. They had several MG42's, Panzershrecks, and assorted small arms; defensive emplacements consisting of metal barrels and sand bags protected them from this futile American’s attempt at thwarting the thousand-year plan. The last things Peter would have remembered were his friend Hanz, who grew up in the same village on the Austrian border, diving behind one of their defensive barrels only to see it ignite causing small pieces of his beloved comrade to cascade down his face and green fatigues. Peter was frozen unable to conjure any of the training in which he was given. All he could do is stare and wonder as he watched his brethren fire volley after volley of automatic fire at the lone American, only to see when they did find their mark(which was not often) that the American beast did not slow or even flinch in his methodical massacre. Peter finding little strength before his brains became so much chunky red paint upon the back wall was to utter a single word....”Alarm.”

The truth is the number of digital soldier who have died in combat have vastly outnumbered those who died in actual combat. That is why I would like you to join me in a silent prayer for all of the hapless villains of gaming. For Peter and Hanz, for the countless Terrorists and Counter-terrorists locked in their deadly struggle to plant and diffuse bombs in seeming uninhabited and strategical unimportant locales. To the various foolish alien races who decided that invading Earth was somehow easy, or a good idea. Why, I memorialize these poor souls is simple, they could not have possibly known that one man/space marine/scientist was not a man but in fact a W.A.S.D. ninja, a quick save knight, a man blessed with a complete lack of conscience, and an endless reservoir of resolve.